


Nothing good happens when Stark thinks

by MarvelWriter2006



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Domestic Avengers, Multi, Not Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Compliant, Not Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie) Compliant, Not Captain America: Civil War (Movie) Compliant
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-28
Updated: 2019-04-28
Packaged: 2020-02-09 05:44:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,664
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18632005
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MarvelWriter2006/pseuds/MarvelWriter2006
Summary: Tony has an idea, the idea is abandoned, the story moves quickly. The team are all good friends





	Nothing good happens when Stark thinks

"Ya know how we don't know much about each other despite working as a team for years?" Tony said loudly one afternoon (waving a  bucket of coffee around) to the entire team who were gathered for lunch in the compound.

The 'team' mentioned consists of, Tony, Banner, Clint, Steve, Natasha, Wanda, Pietro and Loki (and Bucky but he's still not allowed out on missions).

"and I was thinking..." Tony continued before Steve and Natasha interrupted him.

"Thinking before acting now Stark?" The pair monotoned simultaneously from their place on the couch furthest away from the others. Tony rolled his eyes as everyone ignored him and went back to doing what they'd been doing.

Despite it being lunchtime and everyone was eating, only Bruce and Loki were seated at the table. Tony was beside the industrial-sized coffee maker, Clint was perched on the back of a sofa with Pietro leaning against his legs, Wanda was sat on the table near Loki practising her magic. Bucky was making pancakes for himself - did you know that HYDRA trained the Winter Soldier to cook in case he had to go undercover as a chef - but currently he had no interest in making sure the pancakes didn't burn (they didn't) and was instead watching his best friend and Natasha interacting. The team's pair of leaders were sat quietly together facing away from the rest of the team, chatting quietly in Russian. Bucky leaned closer, trying to listen in on the conversation, observing silently the pack of abandoned cards that were scattered in the middle of a game. Arranged cleverly enough to fool anyone else into thinking the game hadn't been abandoned, not cleverly enough to foo Bucky though. Listening in he finally found a use for the language training he had received. Bucky felt his curiosity grow when Natalia, no, Natasha, he reminded himself, toss her head back and let out a beautiful tinkling laugh. Stev's face cracked into a grin and he laughed too. After their laughter died down the room was silent.

"Um, Natasha? What did you just do ?!?" Tony was the first to speak.

Steve and Natasha turned around in confusion to see the team staring, eyes wide, mouths open, frozen. Natasha frowned and looked around.

"I just laughed. Can I not laugh? What's so wrong with it?" She asked and the team unfroze. 

"Well, it's just, well..." Bruce stumbled over the words.

"You never laugh, Nat, never," Clint interrupted bluntly, "and I've known you the longest!"

Natasha glanced up at Steve quickly before glaring around the room, "Steve just made a funny comment, anyway, what is this brilliant idea you've thought of Tony?"

Tony sighed, "Well I was thinking, and I always think before I act thanks for that comment, Capsicle, Widow, wait, what? Why are you all looking at me like that?" he whined as everyone pointedly raised their eyebrows.

"Get on with it then, Tin-can!" Natasha groaned, going back to, as Bucky noticed, her guarded exterior after dropping it when it was just her and Steve.

"Gees! Calm down, alright! Well, I was thinking, drumroll please, truth or dare with booze!" Tony announced and everyone exept Steve, Nat, Bruce and Clint joined in.

"Awwww, come on oldies! It'll be funnnnnn!" Pietro whined and Clint rolled his eyes.

"Piet, you and Wanda will be wasted in seconds as neither of you has any alcohol tolerance!" Clint explained, blushing slightly.

"Relax Birdie, they can't come to any harm. FRIDAY's gonna be watching. See responsible adult, well, AI. Same difference," Tony waved his coffee carelessly again as Clint nodded slowly.

"Fine, guess I'm in then. Nat? Cap? Bruce?" Clint asked.

"I'll play so long as you've got red wine, it makes me calmer and stops the other guy showing up," Bruce agreed.

"Nat? Cap? You two oldies joining us?" Tony smirked.

"No," Natasha said bluntly.

"Oh go on, I'm joining in. Nat?" Steve asked and Natasha sighed.

"I guess, but none of my past and I'm not drinking," She agreed. Tony smiled as he raced out of the room, Natasha added, "Hey, Steve? Talk to you for a minute?" She said, pulling Steve out of the room without waiting for a reply just as Tony staggered back in with a bucket load of bottles.

"And this is why I wanted to play truth or dare!" Tony smirked.

"Good to see it's not just me that realised then!" Bucky added.

"I am confused by this Midgardian secret. Pray to tell, Man of Iron, so we may all participate in tonight's festivities!" Clint added in his impression of Thor. Pietro let out a high-pitched giggle.

"Well it is quite obvious," Loki added, ignoring Clint, "Do you think that director of yours knows?"

"Fury? Well, he might but..." Tony started but Wanda interrupted.

"Will one of you idiots please tell me  what the hell you are talking about before I blow something up!" She yelled.

 The room suddenly grew very silent for the second time that day. Bucky spoke first.

"Right, sorry doll. We all think somethings going on between Steve and Natasha that we don't know about," He explained.

"For example," Tony began, "Do you notice how Nat only drops her guard when our dear Captain is near? Or how only he can make her laugh or smile, how only he can help her when she's weak, only he can get her o talk about her past... Do I need to go on, or...?"

"So we use truth or dare to find out what they're not telling us!" Pietro grinned.

Wanda frowned, "I felt an emotion in their heads a few weeks ago, it was trust, I think, with something else." She said in English then switched to Slovacian, "Like your opinion of a certain someone, hmm brother?" Pietro turned a dark crimson and Tony sniggered.

"Awww, does the baby avenger have a crush! Who!" Tony cooed.

"Wanda!" Pietro whined, Wanda started to laugh but suddenly winced in pain and fell forwards clutching her head.

"Wanda!" Everyone in the room cried but before she could hit the floor Wanda was surrounded by a blanket of green magic that sat her next to Loki. She glared at her brother and Clint.

"Pack it in, will ya!" She muttered under her breath.

"Wan, you good?" Loki asked quietly as he checked to see if she was hurt. The rest of the team, seeing Wanda was now fine, planned what questions they would ask.

"I'm good, Lokes. Hey, do you wanna get the missing two so the game can start?" Wanda said as she turned to face Loki, suddenly wincing. Loki frowned in worry and put a hand on Wanda's chin, moving it up so she was forced to look into his eyes.

"What's wrong, Wan? I'm really worried now. Are someone's thoughts being too loud?" He asked softly and Wanda nodded.

"Don't tell?" She asked and Loki quickly agreed, moving his hand off her chin to rub small circles on her back.

"It's my brother and... and..." She hesitated.

"You don't have to tell me, Wan, not if you don't want to. I won't force you." Loki murmured. Wanda smiled.

"I know that Lokes. It's my brother and Clint Barton, whoever she is. It's weird, I always thought he was gay" Wanda whispered and Loki smiled.

"Is anyone jealous of your brother's crush?" He asked.

Wanda nodded, "Hawkeye," she sighed.

"You mean Clint?" Loki added with a smirk.

Wanda's eyes grew wide as she realised and turned to Clint, grinning. Clint noticed and lept up off the sofa and into the vents shouting. Pietro pouted as Clint left.

"What did I do to annoy the magic users?! Help!" He yelled as he left. Wanda looked at the empty vent, Pietro and then Loki. She grinned.

"This is gonna be one fun truth or dare," Loki smirked.

"Yup, Frostie's right. A couple to pair up, Steve and Nat to figure out and possibly pair up and Speedy's crush to find out!" Tony grinned.

Bruce was about to ask who the couple was when FRIDAY announced there was an incoming call from Director *eyepatch* Fury. Tony groaned.

"Send the call through FRI. Seriously, it's only, what, 3 in the afternoon!" Tony complained but turned to talk to Fury.

"Stark, it's only just passed lunch, what's with all the alcohol? Oh, wait, truth or dare? Rogers asked me to keep any drunk avengers out of the news. Anyway, I need someone to take Natasha and Steve's shifts for a while," Nick said bluntly.

"Nice to see you too Director. Guess I can take their missions, how long?" Tony pulled a virtual calendar from thin-air and looked expectantly at Fury.

"Three to four year, thanks for that, Stark," Fury said as he ended the call. Tony turned to the gathered team, mouth hanging wide open, just as Fury called back.

"Ah! Thought you made a timing mistake. Three to four years is a long time!" Tony sighed in relief but Fury shook his head.

"No timing mistake, but someone may need to be able to cover missions for Bucky, Cint, Wanda and Bruce at a moments notice. Goodbye Stark. Oh, remind Agent Rog-Romanoff, not Rogers, sorry, that she can't drink until I lift her ban. Dr Banner, you know why, correct?" Fury asked Banner who nodded once sharply. Now looking satisfied Fury ended the call again.

Everyone turned to Bruce (who shrunk back immediately) just as Steve, Natasha and Clint re-entered the room. The first two were masking smiles so well that only Bucky noticed, but everyone noticed Clint, who was practically bouncing in happiness. Steve turned to Tony.

"Sorry that took so long, shall we start the game now?" he said calmly, returning to his seat on the furthest sofa with Natasha. Clint hopped back onto the back of the sofa with Pietro promptly leaning back against his legs, letting out a content sigh. Clint froze, his cheeks blushing slightly.

* * *

 

  **Back To When Steve And Natasha Left**

"Hey, Steve? Talk to you for a minute?" She said, pulling Steve out of the room without waiting for a reply just as Tony staggered back in with a bucket load of bottles. Once a good distance away from the kitchen/dining room hybrid floor thing where everyone was gathered Steve turned to Natasha, clearly worried.

"Tash, is everything alright?" He asked.

"We have something to tell Fury," Natasha said, beaming.

"Really? What? Is it why you're so happy?"

"Yep! You'll never believe this though."

"Sure I will. I trust you completely."

"Good, good, good, good. Well, I'm, well, pregnant!"

Steve froze in shock and Natasha's face fell in horror.

"Sorry," She said, nearly crying, "I, just, well, though, well..." She started but Steve unfroze and beamed.

"Tash! This is brilliant! You'll be a mother!"

"And you'll be a father! This is perfect!"

"Uh, no."

"What! Steve! Why not?!"

"Tash, the team doesn't even know we like each other, let alone married with a child on the way. They have worked out something's going on though, took them long enough. A baby would be hard to explain. You'd have to be kept off missions for years until the child is old enough to be left with someone. You won't be able to drink, train or, well, do anything you normally do while your pregnant either Tash." Natasha frowned as she realised Steve was right but before she could respond a crying Clint ran into her side by accident, his face fallen and eyes too full of tears for him to see clearly. He looked at Natasha, blinked once and collapsed into a sobbing pile on the floor. Natasha and Steve glanced at each other. Natasha spoke first

"Clint Francis Barton, you will tell me what's wrong this minute of we will force it out of you," She said not unkindly.

Clint sniffed and looked up, his eyes swollen and red, "P...P...Pietro has a c...c...crush on someone!" he bawled.

"And you have a crush on Pietro, right?" Steve asked and Clint nodded sadly, "Well maybe he could have a crush on you!" Steve added.

"Doubt it," Clint muttered and Natasha smiled kindly.

"Hey, Clint? You often call yourself my honorary brother, right?" Natasha asked and Clint nodded without looking up.

"Well, you have a promotion," Steve added with a smile and Clint looked up, confused.

"Whaaa?" Clint asked curiously.

"Honorary Uncle," both Steve and Natasha said at the same time and after a moment Clint realised what they were saying. He looked up, eyes wide.

"You! Pregnant! That so- wait, who's the father!? Do I need to kill anyone!" Clint asked quickly as he jumped up. Natasha smirked and looked pointedly towards Steve who smirked at Clint's face.

"Are you two..." Clint started but Steve interrupted.

"Married? Yep!" he smiled warmly as Clints face split into a huge grin.

"Does Fury know!" He asked excitedly. Natasha frowned.

"He knows about our marriage but, but not about my pregnancy." She said and Steve nodded.

"Yeah, we might wanna tell him. And Banner so he can help with the medical side of it." Steve said as he started calling Fury who picked up immediately. The directors face appeared on a holographic screen in front of the trio. He looked grumpy for a moment before smiling warmly at Natasha and Steve, followed by a grumpy scowl towards Clint.

"Morning, what do you three need?" He asked.

"Um, to tell you something?" Natasha snarked, her eyebrows raised.

"Huh, funny, sure, now what do you need to tell me. And, um, why does agent Barton look like a kangaroo?" Nick asked.

Natasha took a deep breath in, "I'm, well, gonna need some time off missions." She said quietly.

Fury paused, frowning and asked, "How long? A day? A week?"

"Uh," Natasha nervously glanced over to Steve who nodded encouragingly, "three to four years...?" As she said that Fury spat out the coffee he was drinking.

"What!," He almost yelled but caught it when he saw Natasha's face, "you're serious, aren't you." Natasha nodded.

"I'm also kinda gonna need Steve, Clint, Bucky, Wanda and Banner to be easy to call off missions," she smiled sadly.

Nick frowned again, "Natasha? Are you... are you pregnant?" He asked and Natasha lowered her head in sadness as she nodded. Nick sighed before beaming, "Natasha! That's brilliant, I'm so happy for you! Right, well, I'll get the team to sort out the missions, they don't know? No? Right, well I won't tell them. Good luck with the baby!" Nick smiled as he ended the call.

 "Banner says he'll help but wants answers and warns us about truth or dare later. I've also asked Nick to keep drunk Avengers outta the news." Steve said as he looked up from his phone. Natasha nodded.

"Cool, anyway, speaking of the game, shall we get back before people get too suspicious," Natasha said as she started heading back. The boys shrugged and followed behind.

* * *

"Sorry that took so long, shall we start the game now?" Steve said calmly as the trio re-entered the room. Tony eyed them suspiciously but nodded slowly.

"Gather in a circle 'round the alcohol an' we'll start!" Bucky moved to sit and was followed by the rest of the team. Everyone sat in a rough circle going (clockwise from the top) Tony, Bucky, Bruce, Loki, Wanda, Pietro, Clint, Natasha, Steve.

"Right, well I'll start and choose someone to ask first, then we'll go clockwise to ask someone. Questions can be directed at anyone. We drink when answering." Tony said as he poured out eight shots. He was starting to pour a ninth but Steve put a hand over the rim of the glass.

"What?" Stark whined. Steve jerked his head towards Natasha. Stark whined, "Right, forgot Red can't drink." Everyone collected their shots (apart from Natasha).

"Stark, start," Bucky ordered once everyone was re-seated in the circle. Tony nodded and smirked evilly.

"Now, who to start with... oh! Wanda! Truth or dare!" Tony glanced to Wanda.

"Um," Wanda shuffled uncomfortably as she downed a shot, only relaxing when she felt Loki's warm hand rubbing her back and she leaned back into it. "Um, dare, I guess?" 

Stark grinned, "Alright! I dare you to... kiss the person to your right!" Everyone looked to Wanda's right and Loki sighed. He spoke telepathically to Wanda.

"Just kiss my cheek or something Wan," He thought. Wanda slightly nodded as she leaned over to gently kiss Loki's cheek. Loki felt a tingle run down his spine and had to work hard to stop himself blushing. Love, he thought, forgetting he was still talking to Wanda.

"Hey, um, Lokes?"

"Mmm? Yeah, Wan?"

"Do you, um, love me?

"... Yes. Yes, I do."

Wanda smiled and blushed ever so slightly.

"Oi! Care to share with those of us who aren't telepathic?" Stark asked in mock outrage.

"Nope!" Loki smirked and turned to Bucky, "Your go!" Bucky rolled his eyes.

"Pietro! Truth or dare!" he asked.

"Oh! Um, dare?" Pietro answered after downing his shot, shuddering. Clint tensed at that but no-one noticed.

"I dare you to kiss Tony!" Bucky smirked and the others smirked, they planned this question while Clint was out the room.

Pietro's face fell, "Why are all the dares kissing! No!" he said and Wanda winced as Clint's thoughts - he doesn't love me! He doesn't even like guys. He likes girls, of course, he does. This proves it - barreled into her mind. She leaned into Loki's side for comfort, hearing his steady heartbeat speed up as she cuddled into him more. Tony glanced over to the pair and raised an eyebrow, saying nothing.

"You have to, it's a dare Pietro!" Bucky smirked, "or if you want I  _could_ give you a different dare, but no promising it will be better."

"Anything but kissing Stark!"

"Anything?"

"anything!"

Steve leaned over to Bucky and whispered an idea in his ear. Buckys face split into a smirk.

"Alright, I dare you to take your shirt off!" Bucky grinned.

Piero frowned but nodded. Pulling his shirt off over his head, messing his ice-white hair up and revealing three deep cuts in his back. Clint gasped.

"Piet! Your backs all cut up! Sit in front of me so I can clean and bandage those wounds!" Clint fussed and Pietro meekly complied, sliding in front of Clint with his head bowed over. Clint pulled out a first aid kit from who-knows-where. "Don't move. This may sting a little." Clint explained before turning to Steve and Natasha, silently asking for help. The pair smiled before shuffling over to help.

"Clint keep him calm while Steve and I clean the wounds." Natasha quietly ordered. She and Steve quickly began cleaning out Piero's wounds when he yelped in agony. Clint immediately pulled the boy into a tight hug, leaving his back uncovered, softly running his fingers through the speedsters ice white hair. The boy sighed in contentment, the stinging wounds now are forgotten. It took just moments for the wounds to be cleaned and soon Pietro was pulling his shirt back on over his head, but, when the young adult attempted to return to his place in the circle, Clint stopped him.

"You're still hurt. Stay there so I can keep an eye on you." He said and Pietro nodded. Going to sit down in the same spot when Clint reached over and pulled him backwards, almost into Clint's lap. Clint began bandaging the wounds with a frown on his face, but every time, while bandaging, that his hand touched Pietro's back, both blushed.

The rest of the team noticed and started smirking, everyone knowing about the crush the pair had on each other.

"Hey! What's everyone smirking for!" Clint whined, noticing everyone's faces.

 "Nothing Birdbrain, just thinking, maybe we won't drink the alcohol anymore. Its easier to remember when you're sober," Tony said, quickly followed by whines from Pietro and Wanda, the only people who had to drink, but everyone else agreed, dumping the alcohol.

 "Who's go is it?" Pietro asked, still practically sat in Clint's lap.

"Mine!" Bruce called out, "Natasha! Truth or dare?"

"h, Truth," Natasha replied quickly and Bruce smiled.

"Why do you get the three years off?" He asked curiously.

"Classified mission for SHIELD," Natasha lied easily but Bruce looked unconvinced, nodding anyway.

"My go now!" Wanda exclaimed, "Clint! Truth or dare?"

"Do I have to go?" Clint asked and everyone nodded, "fine, dare."

Wanda smirked, "Your gonna regret that!" Clint paled, "I dare you to take your shirt off, wait, can all the men just take their shirt/top off, just to check no-one else has an injury they've failed to tell the rest of us about?"

Steve and Clint grumbled but all the men pulled off their tops. Clint was the last and when he complied everyone gasped. A pair of wings the same size and shape as Maleficent's unfolded, the feathers matching his hair colour perfectly.

"Ohhh, so that's why you're called  ** _Hawk_** eye, then?" Bruce murmured.

"Hey, Piet? You alright brother?" Wanda smirked. Pietro had been staring at Clint's wings in awe. He snapped back to reality and glared at Wanda.

"Yes oh lovely sister of mine, I am fine!" Pietro said through gritted teeth.

"Oh, I believe it's my turn now?" Loki asked and the others nodded, "Great, Natasha, truth or dare?" he asked and Natasha frowned.

"Truth," She said and Loki smirked.

"Why can't you drink, really," He asked. Natasha raised an eyebrow, stared his straight into Loki's eyes and said:

"I'm pregnant,"

The team was silent in shock before they all screamed "WHAT!!!".

Tony spoke first, "Who's the dad?"

"My husband," Natasha said dryly which caused more screaming. Of course, the question of her husband was asked, to which Natasha replied, "Guess you'll have to wait and see," and with that, she turned and strolled out the room, leaving a trail of confusion behind her.

 


End file.
